The traveling from the lower level to the fifth was always eternal. Like if the elevator went slower and slower. Like if instead of going up five plants had to going up one hundred. He was sleeping, as always, which was a relief. I wasn’t prepared to be a mother and that job remembered it to me every day. In the grey and dirty mirror, I saw my bad looking reflection. The scrambled hair, with a messy hairstyle done in a hurry. The raccoon eyes and the clothes bad placed it was like if I just waked up from a very short and bad dream with the clothes of the day before still on. In the sad reflection, I saw too through the old door the elevator going up at full speed. I thought that was very ironic see the speed while I was feeling the time go so slow in that minuscule cabin, in which, supposedly, to fit four people.
At last, the numerical panel showed a bright number five, made with red lights, and the heavy elevator doors opened behind the old green metal door, which has an opaque and dense glass from I could saw the deep dark of the hallway. I was listening to metallic sounds, like if the strong steel cords that keep us in the air barely were able to hold our weight. When I touched the door with my bare hands, I felt a painful cold penetrating my skin. That sensation intensified when I opened the door and crash with the dense darkness like the mist in February. Take out the carriage of the baby it was always the worst part: the heavy door that closes by itself, the wheels stuck in the rails of the metallic doors, the little space for maneuver… and that cold darkness that surrounded me like a soft and wet blanket. The automatic bulb in the hallway was refuse to light, like if it no recognized me as human, like if my living dead appearance it stole my soul. When I pulled the baby carriage, the child complained and I couldn’t do anything more than a sigh. He was awake and that only means a good serenade of cries and tantrums. Decayed and tired, I pulled the carriage again while I was holding the door with my bag. The light was still not worked and only the white brightness of the elevator was allow me to saw the silhouette of the solid security doors of the hallway. It was the same hallway as always, but I felt something different in the air. That darkness more dense and cold than usual indicated to me that something wasn’t right. The carriage hood didn’t allow me to see the face of the baby. But his complains and cries confirmed to me that the little one was awake and he wasn’t in a good mood. I wanted to search for the light switch and kill that thick darkness that was like thin needles that got under my skin. However, the cries resounding all around the hallway, going up and down the stairs, multiplying in each floor, didn’t let me think. So, I decided to calm down him first. But when I raised the hood with the intention to make some cuteness to him, what I found was a little thing without a face who raises his tiny hands to me with the intention that I hold him in my arms. The dull light of the elevator was enough to allow me to see how something was moving under his skin and how his mouth was appearing and disappearing with his cries. His fingers, before chubby and soft, now seemed like pointy bones, almost like some weird bird claws. Frightened, I pushed the carriage with my feet, took my bag and I ran to the elevator. The white light started to blink and the numerical panel went crazy, showing impossible numbers randomly. In the grey reflection of the mirror, I only was able to saw the darkness, like if I wasn’t there. I extended my hand trying to see it in the mirror. My foot was in the entrance of the cabin when the elevator suddenly made an awful noise and went down to the abysm. Making sparks while is falling. Illuminating its way. Running away from me… However, I never heard it crash.
In fell to the floor shaking. Wet of cold sweat. Or maybe was that deep dark fog that was surrounding and licking me. I wanted to scream, but I couldn’t. No matter how much I opened my mouth, no sound came from it. Only the tireless cries of a thousand babies filled the whole place. Suddenly, the hallway bulb finally lighted on. Was a light warm and pale, enough to let me see that little thing standing up in front of the carriage. Crying. Opening his arms to me. Begging to be taken in my arms. He started to cry more and more. And where they should be his eyes, it started to appear some deep and long cuts that crying blood. Then, the light went out and with it, the cries stop.
In the dense, cold and wet darkness I felt him ran to me. I felt his tiny claws scratching my neck and his warm blood tears went down to my neckline while my tears were falling on that faceless face.
Now my tired arms hug that little thing who sleeps placidly now that his whims have been fulfilled.